Services Provided

MY AREAS OF SPECIALIZATION INCLUDE:

TELEHEALTH/PHONE & ONLINE COUNSELING 

I provide secure, confidential and convenient Telehealth sessions for individuals and couple residing in many states, including Florida.  

Telehealth has proven to be as effective as in-person counseling and many clients appreciate the convenience of being able to meet with me from the privacy of their own home, from their office, in their car, while traveling, or any other place of their choosing.  The only requirement is being located in a state where I am authorized to provide services, and a device with wireless or cellular service, and a microphone (camera is optional).  

No apps or programs are necessary for the client to download; all sessions are conducted on the secure, HIPAA-compliant version of Zoom.  Sessions are not recorded or saved in any form and are entirely confidential.  

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COUPLES COUNSELING/MARRIAGE COUNSELING

Sandra Shachar

Couples seek counseling when they are struggling to find hope and the possibility of change in the face of deeply painful and difficult issues.  Whereas once they were in love and living the dream, they find themselves in a nightmare of unhappiness.  Concerns range from constant arguing to aching silence, feeling alone in the relationship, lacking physical or emotional intimacy, infidelity, alcohol and drug dependency, sexual and pornography issues, financial problems and betrayal, difficult family members or differences in parenting,, and  more.


Over thirty years of working with couples has given me a deep toolbox for addressing the variety of reasons couples seek counseling, often as a "last resort".  Frequently couples tell me that I am not the first therapist they have seen for help, and some have been told by other therapists that they are "beyond help and should get a divorce".  I have yet to see a couple I believed was beyond help, and to whom I could not offer hope and a path forward 


St Louis, MO Marriage Therapy   St Louis, MO Couples Counselng

HOW I WORK WITH COUPLES:

In the first session, I will gather a history of your relationship - from each person's perspective - and what outcome you are longing to have.   My role is not to assign "blame" or be a referee, and in fact I will immediately move your conversations from talking "at" each other to deeply listening and understanding one another with greater compassion. Once each of you feels truly understood AND validated, you can shift into finding workable solutions together. It's my job to quickly get you there, beginning with the very first session.    

It is normal to feel unsure, skeptical or even negative about coming to counseling with your partner. When you have felt stuck, unhappy, in pain or have gotten to the point of "I've stopped caring", it can seem impossible to believe that trust, passion and intimacy can be rekindled.  Yet I have been honored to witness time and again the remarkable reconnection and healing that couples achieve with one another.  Most couples feel encouraged and more hopeful at the first session.   

In my experience, as few as three 90-minute sessions will give you momentum and the basic tools and concepts for happier connection.  After the first session, you will decide as a couple if you want to continue this work, and there is never an obligation to do more than you wish to do.  While I cannot guarantee outcomes, I can say that when couples consistently apply these concepts and tools to change their interactions, I have yet to see them fail to make a significant positive difference!  


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PREMARITAL COUNSELING

Deciding to get married is an exciting moment, followed by making many decisions about The Big Day!!  Along with planning for the wedding, an excellent investment of time and money is to plan for the days, months and years after the wedding.  The Rest of Your Life is a long time, and discussing important topics like Sex, Finances, Children, Religion & Spirituality, and Our Families can help clarify each other's feelings, expectations, needs and hopes with compassion and without judgment.   

 Building a Couples' Toolbox of Relationship Skills for communication, conflict resolution,  and discussing big topics will enable you to avoid many of the common pitfalls that can lead to unhappiness and separation or  divorce. 

 Premarital counseling is 3 sessions of 60 minutes duration. 



Sandra Shachar

DISCERNMENT COUNSELING

It is often the case that one or both partners may be ambivalent about whether or not they want the relationship to continue In these cases I help the individuals discern whether they wish to pursue couples work or look at separation/divorce.  

Discernment Counseling is 1 to 3 sessions of 90 minutes, in which I meet with each person individually and then together, and each session is focused specifically on helping those who are unsure gain clarity about their desire to work on or end the relationship.  


DIVORCE COUNSELING

Deciding whether or not to divorce is often an agonizing, protracted process, spanning years or even decades.  Most people take their wedding vows seriously and feel a commitment to the marriage "for better or worse," even when things have been "worse" for years.  Fear of how divorce will affect children, teens and young adults is a huge consideration for parents.  Concerns about financial stability moving forward can loom large, especially if one partner has been the primary breadwinner.  How families and friends will react and with whom one will have social suppport after the divorce can also be anxiety-producing.   These are all concerns that we can address in counseling, whether you come as an individual, as a couple, or both,

If you determine that separation and/or divorce is right for you, we can determine together how to help everyone involved move forward in the best possible way.  Many couples are relieved to learn that divorce does not need to lead to fighting and lengthy, expensive legal battles.  Mediation and cooperative or "collaborative" divorces are increasingly common and help couples separate their lives with integrity, compassion and help parents  maintain their ability to co-parent cooperatively and to share family life cycle events - like graduations and weddings - with civility and enjoyment.  Divorce counseling helps individuals and couples thoughtfully and respectfully separate their lives and keeps the focus on the future rather than a continuation of what did not work well in the past.  If you are considering divorce, counseling can be an excellent investment in a happier future for all concerned!

I am a trained Divorce Coach and a member in good standing of the International Academy of Collaborative Professionals. IACP professionals are specially trained Attorneys, Mental Health professionals and Financial professionals who help married couples use the Collaborative Divorce Process to divorce with integrity, cooperatively and with an agreement created by the couple in cooperation with their Divorce Team, that works for each of the spouses and for their entire family moving forward.

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BETRAYAL TRAUMA

Sandra Shachar

No pain compares to the discovery that your partner has been unfaithful.  The shock and unreality is soon replaced by grief, sadness, anger and even rage.  Partners who discover infidelity have suffered what some describe as their "personal 9/11".  I am specially trained to work with individuals experiencing Betrayal Trauma, and to help couples repair after infidelity from affairs, and sex, love and pornography addictions.  




CONFLICT RESOLUTION 

Sandra Shachar


I will receive you and your loved ones with compassion and respect, and without judgment.  I can offer insight into what has created feelings of hurt, resentment, frustration and being stuck,and how to shift relationships and behavior into more productive modes.  No hurt is too great to be lessened.  I can help you repair and renew your relationship, no matter how broken.   My goal is to help you meet your needs for harmony in your relationships and a sense of inner peace!  I will give you concepts and tools to help you have respectful conflict that will help you grow as a couple! 




Couple smiling Smiling men African american man and caucasian woman smiling and sitting on bench Women smiling

Give yourself the gift of tips and tools to make your Happily Ever After a reality!

Contact Me Today

LOCATION

Appointment Times

Additional hours may be scheduled by appointment. All appointments are scheduled directly with Dr. Shachar.

Monday:

9:00 AM -5:00 PM CST

10:00 AM-6:00 PM EST

Tuesday:

9:00 AM-5:00 PM CST

10:00 AM - 6:00 PM EST

Wednesday:

9:00 AM - 5:00 PM CST

10:00 AM - 6:00 PM EST

Thursday:

9:00 AM - 5:00 PM CST

10:00 AM - 6:00 PM EST

Friday:

9:00 AM - 3:00 PM CST

10:00 AM - 4:00 PM EST

Saturday:

By appointment only

Sunday:

Closed