Services Provided

MY AREAS OF SPECIALIZATION INCLUDE:

TELEHEALTH/PHONE & ONLINE COUNSELING 

I provide secure, confidential and convenient Telehealth sessions for individuals and couple residing in many states, including Florida.  

Telehealth has proven to be as effective as in-person counseling and many clients appreciate the convenience of being able to meet with me from the privacy of their own home, from their office, in their car, while traveling, or any other place of their choosing.  The only requirement is being located in a state where I am authorized to provide services, and a device with wireless or cellular service, and a microphone (camera is optional).  

No apps or programs are necessary for the client to download; all sessions are conducted on the secure, HIPAA-compliant version of Zoom.  Sessions are not recorded or saved in any form and are entirely confidential.  

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COUPLES COUNSELING/MARRIAGE COUNSELING

Sandra Shachar

Couples seek counseling when they are struggling to find hope and the possibility of change in the face of deeply painful and difficult issues.  Whereas once they were in love and living the dream, they now find themselves trapped in a nightmare of unhappiness.  Concerns range from constant arguing to aching silence, feeling alone in the relationship, lacking physical or emotional intimacy, infidelity, alcohol/ drug  dependency, sexual dysfunction and betrayal with online sex and pornography, financial problems and betrayal, difficult family members or differences in parenting,, and  more.

Over thirty years of working with couples has given me a deep toolbox for addressing the variety of reasons couples seek counseling, often as a "last resort".  Frequently couples tell me that I am not the first therapist they have seen for help, and some have been told by other therapists that they are "beyond help and should get a divorce".  I have yet to see a couple I believed was beyond help, for whom there was no hope or path forward together .  When both members are willing to show up to see what can happen, there is hope.  Where there is hope there is possibility.  This is the space in which transformation and yes, even miracles,  can and do happen! 


St Louis, MO Marriage Therapy   St Louis, MO Couples Counselng

HOW I WORK WITH COUPLES:

In the first session, I will gather a history of your relationship - from each person's perspective - and what outcome you are longing to have.   My role is not to assign "blame" or be a referee.  I will quickly move your conversations from talking "at" each other to listening deeply and letting each other know you make sense.  When each of you feels truly understood AND validated, you can shift into finding workable solutions together. It's my job to get you there, beginning with the very first session.    

It is normal to feel unsure, skeptical or even negative about coming to counseling with your partner, especially if you have tried counseling before. When you feel stuck, unhappy, in pain or to the point of "I've stopped caring", it can feel impossible to believe that trust, passion and intimacy can be rekindled.  Yet I have been honored to witness time and again the remarkable reconnection and healing that couples achieve with one another.  Most couples feel encouraged and more hopeful after the first session.   

In my experience, as few as three 90-minute sessions will give you momentum and the basic tools and concepts for happier connection.  After the first session, you will decide as a couple if you want to continue this work, and there is never an obligation to do more than you wish to do.  While I cannot guarantee outcomes, I can say that when couples consistently apply these concepts and tools to change their interactions, I have yet to see them fail to create a significant positive difference!  


Sandra Shachar t w

PREMARITAL COUNSELING

Deciding to get married is an exciting moment, followed by making many decisions about The Big Day!!  Along with planning for the wedding, an excellent investment of time and money is to plan for the days, months and years after the wedding.  The Rest of Your Life is a long time, and discussing important topics like Sex, Finances, Children, Religion & Spirituality, and Our Families can help clarify each other's feelings, expectations, needs and hopes with compassion and without judgment.   

 Building a Couples' Toolbox of Relationship Skills for communication, conflict resolution,  and discussing big topics will enable you to avoid many of the common pitfalls that can lead to unhappiness and separation or  divorce. 

 Premarital counseling is three 60-minute sessions targeting essential concepts and skills for communication and conflict resolution. 



Sandra Shachar

DISCERNMENT COUNSELING

It is often the case that one or both partners may be ambivalent about whether or not they want the relationship to continue In these cases I help the individuals discern whether they wish to pursue couples work or look at separation/divorce.  

Discernment Counseling is one to three 90-minute sessions.  Within each session  I meet with each person individually and then together.   Each session is focused specifically on helping those who are unsure gain clarity about their desire to work on the  relationship, keep things the same, or separate and end the relationship. 

 If the decision reached is to work on changing the relationship, then you may choose to continue to work with me in couples therapy or seek another path for relationship repair and growth.  If you decide to maintain the status quo, no further action is needed on anyone's part.  If you decide to separate or divorce, then I can suggest resources - including Collaborative Divorce, which is designed to be cooperative and non-adversarial - to assist you in moving forward with uncoupling. 

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BETRAYAL TRAUMA

Sandra Shachar

No pain compares to discovering that your partner has been unfaithful.  The shock and unreality is soon replaced by grief, sadness, anger and even rage.  Partners who discover infidelity have suffered what some describe as their "personal 9/11". 

 I am trained to work with individuals experiencing Betrayal Trauma.  I also help couples repair after infidelity from emotional and physical affairs, as well as sex, love and pornography compulsions and addictions.  

Please note that I am not trained to work individually with persons who have problematic sexual behavior, sexual compulsions or addictions.  I have a referral network of specialist therapists (CSAT/Certified Sex Addiction Therapists) to whom I refer and with whom I work as a "team member" for supporting betrayed partners and couples affected by Betrayal Trauma.  




CONFLICT RESOLUTION 

Sandra Shachar


I will receive you and your loved ones with compassion and respect, and without judgment.  I can offer insight into what has created feelings of hurt, resentment, frustration and being stuck,and how to shift relationships and behavior into more productive modes.  No hurt is too great to be lessened.  I can help you repair and renew your relationship, no matter how broken.   My goal is to help you meet your needs for harmony in your relationships and a sense of inner peace!  I will give you concepts and tools to help you have respectful conflict that will help you grow as a couple! 




Couple smiling Smiling men African american man and caucasian woman smiling and sitting on bench Women smiling

Give yourself the gift of tips and tools to make your Happily Ever After a reality!

Contact Me Today

LOCATION

Appointment Times

Additional hours may be scheduled by appointment. All appointments are scheduled directly with Dr. Shachar.

Monday:

Closed

Tuesday:

9:00 AM-5:00 PM CST

10:00 AM - 6:00 PM EST

Wednesday:

9:00 AM - 5:00 PM CST

10:00 AM - 6:00 PM EST

Thursday:

9:00 AM - 5:00 PM CST

10:00 AM - 6:00 PM EST

Friday:

9:00 AM - 3:00 PM CST

10:00 AM - 4:00 PM EST

Saturday:

Closed

Sunday:

Closed