Services Provided



I provide secure, confidential and convenient Telehealth sessions for individuals and couples residing in many states.  To see if yours is one, go to: 

Telehealth has proven to be as effective as in-person counseling and many clients appreciate the convenience of being able to meet with me from the privacy of their own home, from their office, in their car, while traveling away from home, or any other place of their choosing.  The only requirement is a mobile or desktop device with wireless or cellular service, and a microphone (camera is optional).  

No apps or programs are necessary for the client to download; all sessions are conducted on secure, HIPAA-compliant version of Zoom.



Sandra Shachar

Couples seek counseling when they are struggling to find hope and the possibility of change in the face of deeply painful and difficult issues, ranging from constant arguing to aching silence, feeling alone within the relationship, lacking physical or emotional intimacy, grappling with infidelity, alcohol, drug and/ or sexual addictions or compulsive behavior, financial problems and secrets, difficult family members and challenging children, and more. Thirty years of working with couples around such issues has given me a deep toolbox for addressing the variety of reasons driving couples to seek counseling, often as a "last resort".  Frequently couples tell me that I am not the first therapist they have seen for help, and some have been told by other therapists that they are "beyond help" and "should get a divorce".  I have yet to see a couple in my 30 years of doing couples work whom I felt was beyond help, and to whom I could not offer hope and a path forward. 

St Louis, MO Marriage Therapy St Louis, MO Couples Counselng


In the first session, I will gather a brief history of your relationship and the challenges you have had. 

 My role is not to assign "blame" or be a referee, and in fact I will immediately move your conversations from talking "at" each other to deeply listening and understanding one another with greater compassion. Once each of you feels truly understood AND validated, you can shift into finding workable solutions together. It's my job to quickly get you there, beginning with the very first session.    

It is normal to feel unsure, skeptical or even negative about coming to counseling with your partner. When we have been stuck, unhappy, in pain or have gotten to the point of "I've stopped caring", it can feel impossible to believe that trust, passion and intimacy can be rekindled.

Yet I have been honored to witness time and again the remarkable reconnection and healing that couples achieve with one another.  Most couples feel encouraged from the first session.   

In my experience, what works best is a minimum of six 90-minute sessions to establish momentum and master the basic tools for happier connection.  

While I cannot guarantee outcomes, I can promise to give  you concepts and skills that, when consistently applied,  will  keep you on a successful path forward!

Sandra Shachar


Deciding to get married is an exciting moment, followed by making many decisions about The Big Day!!  Along with planning for the wedding, an excellent investment of time and money is to plan for the days, months and years after the wedding.  The Rest of Your Life is a long time, and discussing important topics like Sex, Finances, Children, Religion & Spirituality, and Our Families can help clarify each other's feelings, expectations, needs and hopes with compassion and without judgment.   

 Building a Couples' Toolbox of Relationship Skills for communication, conflict resolution,  and discussing big topics will enable you to avoid many of the common pitfalls that can lead to unhappiness and separation or  divorce. 

 Premarital counseling is 3 sessions of 60-90 minutes duration.  

Sandra Shachar


It is often the case that one or both partners may be ambivalent about whether or not they want the relationship to continue In these cases I help the individuals discern whether they wish to pursue couples work or look at separation/divorce.  

Discernment Counseling is 1 to 3 sessions of 90 minutes, in which I meet with each person individually and then together, and each session is focused specifically on helping those who are unsure gain clarity about their desire to work on or end the relationship.  


Deciding whether or not to divorce is often an agonizing, protracted process, spanning years or even decades.  Most people take their wedding vows seriously and feel a commitment to the marriage "for better or worse," even when things have been "worse" for years.  Fear of how divorce will affect children, teens and young adults is a huge consideration for parents.  Concerns about financial stability moving forward can loom large, especially if one partner has been the primary breadwinner.  How families and friends will react and with whom one will have social suppport after the divorce can also be anxiety-producing.   These are all concerns that we can address in counseling, whether you come as an individual, as a couple, or both,

If you determine that separation and/or divorce is right for you, we can determine together how to help everyone involved move forward in the best possible way.  Many couples are relieved to learn that divorce does not need to lead to fighting and lengthy, expensive legal battles.  Mediation and cooperative or "collaborative" divorces are increasingly common and help couples separate their lives with integrity, compassion and help parents  maintain their ability to co-parent cooperatively and to share family life cycle events - like graduations and weddings - with civility and enjoyment.  Divorce counseling helps individuals and couples thoughtfully and respectfully separate their lives and keeps the focus on the future rather than a continuation of what did not work well in the past.  If you are considering divorce, counseling can be an excellent investment in a happier future for all concerned!

I am a trained Divorce Coach and a member in good standing of the International Academy of Collaborative Professionals. IACP professionals are specially trained Attorneys, Mental Health professionals and Financial professionals who help married couples use the Collaborative Divorce Process to divorce with integrity, cooperatively and with an agreement created by the couple in cooperation with their Divorce Team, that works for each of the spouses and for their entire family moving forward.



Sandra Shachar

No pain compares to the discovery that your partner has been unfaithful.  The shock and unreality is soon replaced by grief, sadness, anger and even rage.  Partners who discover infidelity have suffered what some describe as their "personal 9/11".  I am specially trained to work with individuals experiencing Betrayal Trauma, and to help couples repair after infidelity from affairs, and sex and porn addictions.  


Sandra Shachar

I will receive you and your loved ones with compassion and respect, and without judgment.  I can offer insight into what has created feelings of hurt, resentment, frustration and being stuck,and how to shift relationships and behavior into more productive modes.  No hurt is too great to be lessened.  I can help you repair and renew your relationship, no matter how broken.   My goal is to help you meet your needs for harmony in your relationships and a sense of inner peace!  There are guidelines and tools to help you have respectful conflict that will help you grow as a couple! 

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Give yourself the gift of tips and tools to make your Happily Ever After a reality!

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Appointment Times

Additional hours may be scheduled by appointment. All appointments are scheduled directly with Dr. Shachar.


9:00 AM -5:00 PM CST

10:00 AM-6:00 PM EST


9:00 AM-5:00 PM CST

10:00 AM - 6:00 PM EST


9:00 AM - 5:00 PM CST

10:00 AM - 6:00 PM EST


9:00 AM - 5:00 PM CST

10:00 AM - 6:00 PM EST


9:00 AM - 3:00 PM CST

10:00 AM - 4:00 PM EST


By appointment only